I don't want to give up.

I have had such a very hard week here. This flu bug has hit me really hard and drained all my energy.

I’ve spent a lot of time alone this week which has been hard…I reached out to friends but they were busy with their own things I guess…realizing I need to go to Jesus and my special saints who are always there for me. Trying to ask God if that is what He’s trying to teach me. Lots of time to reflect on Known has been both good and bad.

My marriage has been a very challenging one from the start. I’ve spent many years in counseling and have been blessed to have much healing and learned healthy boundaries which have been huge for me, but still not easy. I have a support group twice a month that continues to help me, so grateful to Jesus for this. Lots of sad memories and pain this week though as I have had this quiet time….many memories of hard struggles and betrayal. I’m hoping to get to Confession today for peace.

My time with the Father was very beautiful though…so very thankful. The Father sat with me with His arm around me and His comforting presence was more than words can say. He held me while we watched a very sad memory from my husband. I felt so cared for and loved while the Father sat with me. That was and is such a gift, especially this week. I’m holding onto this and I am thankful for His great love for me.

I’m feeling a pull not to show up…”this is too hard, everyone else has such happy stories “…I know it’s the evil one but just trying to take one day at a time.