God, don't you love me?

I realized that, for a long time, I have been asking God one question with my words, but underneath was the real question which I was afraid to ask.

Most of the time, I was asking, "Will I ever get married?" "Is this your will for me?" "When will it be my turn?" etc.

But with all of those questions, my real question was: "Do you love me?"

Now, I imagine those conversations like this (almost the opposite of Jesus asking Peter if he loves Him...):

Me: God, will I ever get married?

God: Daughter, I love you.

Me: God, is this your will for me?

God: Daughter, I love you.

Me: God, when will it be my turn?

God: Daughter, I love you.

Me: Don't you love me?

God: Daughter, I love you.

Me: You do?

God smiles at me, gazes at me.

OK, then. He loves me. That is the answer to my deepest question.

There is much more to say about this, but I am filled with peace and gratitude. I can go forth and live now.

Who am I? I am someone God loves.

"The one whom Jesus loved," as John called himself -- that's me too. And it is also what He asks me to do -- to love as He does. Amen.